splodge04: (BSG- Ringside love)
[personal profile] splodge04



BSG Fic- The Rising Red
(It's also uploaded at Survival Instinct for those who prefer that format.)

Summary: An angsty and slightly AU fic surrounding Adama and Roslin. The President's life is jeopardy and it's only a matter of time until it's too late.
Rated: M
Disclaimer: These character are unfortunatley not mine! I'm just puttin them into my own little storyline to keep me entertained until Season 4!

It's set after Epiphanies and before Sacrifice in Season 2.

Thanks to my Betas [profile] laharah  and [profile] trickalicious78  for getting me though this.

Chapter 6- ‘Gone, Like A Tear In The Rain.’ -Word count 8319

Chapter 1 can be found here. Chapter 5 can be found here
Chapter 2 can be found here.
Chapter 3 can be found here
Chapter 4 can be found here


Billy watched as Laura stood outside of the press room, her hands on her hips and her head lowered to her chest. She was nervous, he could tell, and he kept on watching as she started pacing in front of the hatch, giving herself a few moments before entering. Truth be told, Billy thought that the conference would cause her more hassle and stress then she needed at the moment, but she was set in her ways and he wouldn’t even try persuading her.

When he had arrived to greet her that morning, he watched her, hunched over an open diary, scrawling in it with a deep concentration etched across her face. It hadn’t occurred to him that she had even been keeping a diary, but these were scary times and maybe it was her outlet. It wouldn’t surprise him if she contained a basketful of different emotions all simmering beneath the surface. There were sides to her even he hadn’t seen, and as he knew there was a line, he would never cross that invisible barrier because he respected her- she was like a mother to him.

When she lifted her head, still pacing along the corridor, he could see that she was mumbling to herself, obviously going over some answers to imaginary questions that she had conjured. You could never be too wary of the press, they could ask some very far-out questions at times to catch you off guard or make you say something you shouldn’t. But, to this day, Laura had been very clever and had always evaded such disasters.

The hatch slowly opened and Billy watched as she looked nervously down the corridor, her tired eyes scanning the metal as if looking out for someone. Billy knew exactly who she was looking out for, he wasn’t silly. He’d heard from one of her guards that she had spent most of the night in the Admiral’s quarters. Whatever that man was to her, Billy was glad that he was there to help, she needed people like him around- especially in times like these.

Billy watched as she walked towards the open hatch, her face set hard and although he was sure that not many people could pick it out, her expression showed her nerves. When she walked slowly towards the threshold of the open press room he saw the blur of a blue uniform walk past him and Admiral Adama walked up behind her, placing his hand gently on her back and leaning forward to talk to her.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I got called down to CIC.” Billy heard his mumble.

Billy saw Laura turn, her mouth set into a quirky smile and her eyes looking eagerly over his face. She nodded, happy that he had arrived, her earlier nerves seemed to evaporate from her body and she stood up tall. “I’m glad you could make it, Admiral.”

There was something there between them, he had noticed. Billy had a knack for reading people and figuring things out without being told. This skill was the reason he had figured out that Laura had cancer and how he managed to do things for her without her request. At that moment, when the Admiral had walked up to her, placing his hand on the small of her back and the way she had looked at him, Billy could tell something had changed. It wasn’t a dramatic change because they had always had some sort of understanding, a line which they had drawn between them. To Billy, however, it seemed that this distinct line had faded and they had become closer. Whatever it was, it had to be something positive, and amongst the negative energy that was surrounding the fleet it couldn’t be bad. Billy was happy that it was having a positive effect on her. It was none of his business when it came down to the President, she could do as she wished, but Billy certainly had an inkling about the two of them and their relationship. Whether it be that it had strengthened due to the recent stresses of leadership, or that Admiral was helping her through a difficult time, he couldn’t help but feel happy at the idea of someone being there for her in a way that he felt he just couldn’t be.

“Are you coming, Billy?” Laura asked, her head popping out through the doorway.

“Sorry, Madam President, I sort of spaced out.”

Laura smiled. “Thinking about a certain person?”

Billy smiled. “You could say that, Madam President.” It was good to see her smile in a playful way at him, it had been a while since that smile had spread across her face. When she ducked back inside the hatch, he followed behind her and watched as she walked to the front of the room, her stance strong and her head held high.

The podium at the front was high and the usual array of microphones had been placed at the top, in the area closest to her. Many of the reporters in the room had ceased their murmuring and gossip as soon as she had entered, watching her as she made her way to the front.

Security was tight, much tighter then usual and the increased military presence seemed to be having its effect on the other people in the room. Billy could see many people looking nervously around at the guns and uniformed men. It was no surprise that they could tell that something was amiss. This meeting was not going to be an easy one.

Laura stood herself upon the podium, spreading her hands across the flat surface and gazing around the room. Billy watched as she began her usual routine of readying herself and composing her thoughts before talking, the people waiting patiently.

Billy had placed himself behind her, standing at the same level as the Admiral, who kept watch over the room with a sharp eye. It always amazed him how he was able to keep a room quiet with his presence. Although Billy was sure that the Admiral wasn’t a hard man, having seen him a few times when he was relaxed around the President, there was something about him. Whether it was his age or his military rank, or even the fact that he was a war veteran and had saved their collective asses on many occasions, it was good to have him there. The reporters, no matter how pushy and frustrating they were, didn’t seem as keen to step out of place with such a man in the room.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming this morning. I think that there are a number of things at this present moment that need addressing and I am here to do exactly that. This fleet is important,” she said, her eyes gazing around the room at the various people sitting before her. “As a race it is our mission to survive this, to build ourselves a home so that we can live on and continue the legacy of our people.” A few of the people in the crowd muttered ‘so say we all’ and this made Laura adjust herself on the podium so she could stand taller. “Inside each and every single one of us is a hidden light that burns within us like a candle. The Cylons are like a gust of wind, pushing against it to try and put it out, but we must not let this take place. I find it hard to believe that there are many people out there that would want to aid the Cylons in their endeavour, but it seems there are.”

A loud uproar of mumbling erupted from the press and a few of the members began jumping to their feet, microphones at hand. “Madam President, is this in regards to the explosions that took place aboard the Carina?”

Laura nodded her head. “Yes. It seems that someone out there took it upon themselves to damage the inside of that ship.”

Hands began raising and Laura took a deep breath. “Yes,” she said pointing to a tall brunette woman standing at the back.

“Is it true that you’ve been in ill, Madam President?”

“Is it cancer?” Another reported shouted, raising his microphone towards her.

Laura waited for a few seconds before shaking her head. “No, it’s not.”

“Are you ill, Madam President?”

“That topic is not up for discussion.” She eyed up the reporter that was sitting the closest to her, making it clear that she didn’t want the topic talked about again. “Yes?”

A tall greying man stepped forward and coughed lightly. “Could you give us any more information on the reason the Carina was damaged? Have you found the culprit?”

Laura shook her head. “We are still unsure who the responsible parties are, but the Admiral and myself have people working on that. I’d like to bring something to the attention of the fleet. We are not going to give up,” she paused, raising her head slightly. Although she knew that her message was going to be slightly cryptic, it would make sense to whomever was doing all of this. “As a race we are strong and we will never give in to terrorists or the Cylons. They destroyed our families, our loved ones and our homes. As long as we stick together and strive in the same direction, we will overcome this and get to Earth.”

Many of the reporters scrunched up their faces and began mumbling amongst themselves as they tried to comprehend her words.

“So say we all,” a voice behind her said, and she turned to see Bill glancing out at the room.

“So say we all,” another voice said, and Billy nodded his head.

This phrase carried itself around the room, people nodding their head in agreement at a speech they were certainly unsure of. They understood the sentiment, but not the underlying warning that Laura Roslin was sending out. Whomever was doing this to the fleet needed to watch out as she wouldn’t give up, and if she fell, there was always someone else that would go after them. Bill and Billy had certainly and unexpectedly backed that up.

“The security of this fleet will remain high. Transport will be limited and I ask all of you, if you see anything odd or out of sorts to report it to your ship’s captain as soon as possible. By making sure that the fleet remains as safe as possible, it will heighten our chances of making it in one piece, which I am sure you all want to. Anymore questions?…”

---


“That went reasonably well,” Bill said, sitting down at his desk and pulling out the book that he had hidden inside the secret compartment he’d made. “I mean, it could have been much worse, don’t you think?”

Laura nodded and sat on the couch, dropping her heels to the floor and relaxing into the softness of the throw that smelled so strongly of Bill. “I think it went very well.”

The book landed on this desk and he tried flattening the pages. They hadn’t gotten around to going through this the night before, having found that other things needed to be done, and it was worrying him slightly that she wanted to read this now. If it were true, and this book held keys to what was going to happen, what would it say? How would it affect her? How would it affect the fleet? This book should be priority, he knew, and it was certainly odd that they hadn’t looked at it once in over a day, but there was a moment for everything.

Laura sighed, and leaned back against the arm of the sofa, curling her legs up underneath her, watching Bill as he stared at the mass of paper on his desk. He was puzzling her slightly. She was just as unsure as ever about where she stood with him. After last night, and the direction their relationship seemed to go in, it still wasn’t clear to her. Was she reading him wrong? She was pretty sure she wasn’t, she’d grown so attuned to him, it was like he was an extension of herself. Things were different, but to what extent? “Bill?”

Bill looked up from the paper to Laura’s face, watching as the light bounced off of her glasses which now hung from her shirt. Her hair with it’s long auburn locks, was hanging around her face standing out against the white of her shirt. She seemed so much more refreshed after getting some down time the night before, and it almost made her glow slightly. “Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something?…”

“You don’t even have to ask me that question, you know,” Bill said, opening the first page of the book.

“You know when this is all over-”

“You’re not going to die.”

“No, I meant when we get to Earth or when we feel things are right, will there be room for me?” Laura watched as he closed the book and looked up at her. There was something there between them, and although at first it had seemed as if it were a slightly one-sided affection, after the night before, and the events that took place after he had kissed her, it had been confirmed it was very much a mutual thing. She knew Bill wasn’t someone that took things like that lightly, but she feared that when they finally got to the end, she wouldn’t be what she wanted- the woman by his side. Although, currently she was a woman by his side, it wasn’t at the level she longed for. When he took her hand or gazed at her like he did, she wanted it to be more then friends or as Admiral and President. That possibility was there, and she selfishly wanted it to happen and she didn’t want something to be built further if there was a chance that it would all crumble.

Bill watched her as she analysed his features, knowing exactly what her words had meant. He didn’t understand why she would ask such a thing after what they had been through and spoken about after he had so boldly kissed her, but he knew she was thinking things through more than she should. “Laura…there will always be room for you, you should know that…after everything.”

“I know. I’m just being silly,” she whispered, looking away awkwardly. “Now, the Book. We need to get through as much of this as we can before these people board the ship.”

Bill watched her as she stood and made her way over to his desk, moving a chair around the other side so she could see the pages. “You sure you want to do this now?”

“We have to. I’m hoping that when whoever this person comes on board you will be able to put them in the brig or something like that so we can interrogate them.”

The corner of Bill’s mouth twitched into a small grin. “I’d already arranged that.”

“Without telling me?”

“You were ill at the time.”

She eyed him suspiciously before pulling the papers from his hand and smiling. “Great minds think alike.”

“So say we all,” he grinned, turning his desk lamp on and placing his gaze back onto the open page. “So, we start at the beginning right?”

“I think that’s the best bet, isn’t it? It may explain why and when all this began.” Laura stared down at the page and then they both started reading.

“When times become hard and life becomes tough, we look to our leaders for hope and comfort. But, when it seems that the leaders are not fit to do the job and there is a higher level of being that can truly keep us safe and happy, why do we not jump for them? Why do we not seek out the higher being and make them our leaders?”

Laura scoffed and turned the page. “You have got to be kidding me. They think the Cylons are going to make it all better? You had finished that page, right?”

Bill nodded. “I think most of this is going to be…I don’t know how to put it…preachy? How about we skim through it and look for the important parts like how and why they are doing this to you.”

Laura nodded her head. “That sounds like a better idea. I know that this frakking garbage will make me angry. I just know it.”

The two of them sat hunched over the book, flicking through pages, skimming the words for useful information. It was going to be a pain, especially as they didn’t have long, a few hours at most until whoever it was would come aboard. They wanted to know what they were dealing with.

“Cylon’s are not our enemy. To make the war stop, we must bow down to them and make them our leaders. They are not the enemy, the government and the military are.”

“That line there is familiar,” Laura said, pointing to the page and looking around at Bill’s desk. “I’ve read that before…I read it on the flyer they were sending around. Do you have a copy?”

Bill nodded his head, pulling the red flyer from underneath a pile of paper on the very edge of his desk. “I was going to put it in the bin, actually.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t. See, it’s here. ‘When the two leaders fall, we will once again be able to worship what we were meant to worship. On the 28th day of bombardment, the people will understand what we know to be true.’ Oh my gods, Bill, they mean us. It makes more sense now I’m reading it in context. Both of us are the targets.” She moved her eyes to Bill’s face and peered into them. “Are you feeling ok?” She put her hand to his head and felt for a temperature or something that wasn’t right.

Bill moved out of her hands way. “I’m fine.”

Laura’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I said that, didn’t I?”
“Well, there was something wrong with you, though, and you were being stubborn. If it makes you feel better I’ll go down to see the Doc later.”

“How about now?”

“Later. We need to read more of this. If the things in here are true, then we’ll find out if it has happened yet, won’t we?” Moving his eyes from hers, he placed his finger back on the sentence he had been reading and carefully read each word, trying to ensure he understood each line. He was pretty good at reading in-between the lines too and understanding oddly written sentences. The fact that this book could carry ideas about what was going on and what was going to happen, he had to remain vigilant. Although he was a skeptical man, he couldn’t overlook anything at the current moment, there were too many lives at risk.

Laura turned the page, skimming her eyes over all the various paragraphs and sentences, Bill taking more time to go over the words. She knew what she was looking out for and it would certainly give her more detail about which direction she was going to take.

Another page turned over.

Bill paused his reading and he felt his stomach clench when his eyes glanced over the sentence.

“On Day Three, the female leader would be injected with the deadly concoction by somebody she trusts. “

“Laura- I-um, well, read this.” He pointed over to the sentence and watched her face as she read over the lines below. At first he couldn’t quite make out if she was angry, her eyes glazing over and her brow creasing, or whether she was upset.

“Someone I trust,” she whispered, lifting her head up from the book. Faces flashed in front of her, her mind ruling out the many different people that she did trust, and there weren’t that many. Bill, her guards, Lee, Starbuck, Billy and a few other people. Someone she trusted? She sighed. Why did it have to be someone she trusted and not someone random that she wasn’t partially attached to? Apart from her guard, she was attached to the rest of them, and to a handful, a lot.

“Well, this narrows it down to someone that is in regular contact with you.” Bill said glumly, turning the page over so she didn’t have to look at it again. “This will make it easier to catch them.”

“If you can catch them.” She shook her head, her heart beating hard in her chest at the idea it was someone she was around a lot. Unless it was trust in another respect. It would certainly take a lot of thinking about. She stood up and took her glasses off, pacing in front of his desk.
As she paced, he could see the wheels turning in her mind, coming to grips with the idea and thinking about who it could be. The first thing he was going to have to do was to keep her close to him, it seemed that trust amongst the fleet was becoming a hard thing to give. “There’s you,” she said, looking at him slowly. “But, it couldn’t be you because you’re going to be targeted.” She ran her fingers through her hair and turned to walk in the other direction. “It couldn’t be Starbuck or Apollo because they have been targeted…Helo…no, I’m not around him very often.” She paused and turned to Bill. “It only leaves my guards,” she turned her face away quietly and bit her lip, “or Billy.”

Bill shook his head. “Don’t be silly, Billy would never harm you.”

“I know,” she said sitting back down and putting her head in her hands. “This is just…ugh…this is just frakking ridiculous. It’s all about mind games! Billy would never do anything like that, he’s such a good boy.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead, feeling her heart sink in her chest. How could anyone play with her and Bill like this? What possible advantages would it have? How would the fleet survive if they weren’t around? As arrogant as it sounded, they were the best people to keep this fleet alive. Bill was experienced, smart and he knew what to do. If they weren’t here and the Cylons came, the Cylon worshippers getting their way, the human race would be annihilated- and for what? What were their motives for that? She was pretty sure it wasn’t a suicide attempt on their part.

“I’m going to suggest something,” Bill said quietly. “I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.”

Laura lifted her head and watched as he turned his gaze to her. “What is it?”

“I want you to shadow me. Stay here, come with me during the day. Until we figure out who did this to you, you aren’t safe. If you need to go somewhere, I will come too. I’m going to get Starbuck to be a part of this. You need a personal guard, I can do what I can, but Starbuck has initiative and she is a very capable officer.” Bill looked up at her. “I don’t want you to think that I’m doing this for any other reason than wanting to protect you. I will dismiss your guard, and then slowly reassemble a new one after each of the men have been through checks and questioning.”

Laura blinked and then slowly nodded her head. “When you mean shadow you, does that mean-”

“All the time. Well, obviously not ALL of the time,” he said with a slight grin on his face. “But you know what I mean.”

“And Starbuck?”

“She’ll accompany you, when I am unable. She’ll be with us when you’re shadowing me. I just feel that it will be more beneficial for it to work like that.”

“OK. No, that makes sense. I just hope you don’t get bored of me,” she said, turning the page on the book and looking at him from the corner of her eye.

Bill didn’t say anything, instead he diverted his attention back to the book. How could he get bored of her, of all people?

“It’s just dawned on me, after reading through this how accurate it is. I mean, sure, someone can indeed write something that is very vague and there is always a likelihood that something will come true. But, I don’t know, there is something about this that’s scary. It’s so accurate, the detail is impeccable.”

Bill nodded his head. “This person has orchestrated it very well, I must say.”

“I don’t know. I think there is too much detail for it to be…planned, you know?” Laura turned the page again, staring at the words.

“As accurate as it may be, the likelihood of someone being able to predict such things is just-” he could see the look she was giving him, and he stopped. “You know what I mean though. It’s all about perception of people. What’s the likelihood of me assembling a guard to go to the ship after explosions have gone off? Then, with someone else’s plans added in-between the lines, it would all work.”

“Do you think we should show this to anyone?” Laura said, turning over the page.

“Is there anyone that we can trust to do so? Anyone we can trust to help us decode this stuff? I mean look, that line there could mean anything. Bill took a sip of water from a glass to his right.

“Gaeta?”

Bill shook his head. “I already have him decoding other things at the moment. I don’t think it wise to pass it onto him, even though I trust him.” Bill paused and turned over the next page. “I was going to suggest someone, but, I think that his attention is required elsewhere at the moment. Somewhere very important.”

“Baltar?”

“Yes. I think that he is needed though. You need him to be looking through the blood samples and trying to find a way to help you. We can’t pull him away from that.”

Laura nodded her head slightly. She had to decide. Baltar was very clever and was her best chance of survival at the moment, but, he might be able to help them with the reading between the lines of this text. As annoying as it was, she thought that if he could find something in the text, he might find something in her blood. If all of it was connected, then surely there could be a result found at the end of it? “No…no, I think that we should let Baltar take a look at this, after we are done.”

Bill shook his head, turning the page again. “No. We need to make sure you are the top priority in this. I refuse to jeopardise the progress made on your situation.”

“What progress?” she said bleakly, adjusting her glasses. “Bill, really, how much have they found? How many things of use? I am truly thankful for all of the work he has done on that, but how do we know he will find anything at all? If we think through this logically, this book is the key to the situation. The answers are in here. What have we found from looking in here, really? A few cryptic messages here and there about our deaths.”

“At least we know what is going to happen,” he said gently. “Look, I know that there are a lot of things to think about at the moment, but I think that we should get through all of this first. If, at the end of it, there are some areas that need a more detailed look, then we can go to him. But I think that his attention is needed elsewhere.”

Laura had wanted to reply but her breath had caught in her throat as she had read a small paragraph on the page. She hadn’t realised that they had gotten so far. She gulped slowly and felt her eyes glaze over with fresh tears, threatening to fall down her face and into her lap. She lifted her head and looked up at the ceiling, waiting for the tears to recede so she could get her head around what she had just read.

“Laura?” Bill said, turning to her as she looked away from him.

“Read,” she whispered, taking her glasses off and resting her hands into her lap.

Bill glanced down, reading the bolded words before him. When his eyes read over the sentences, he felt his heart contract and his stomach knot. His eyes began to sting and he turned to Laura who was now wiping at her eyes.

“Laura,” he croaked, swallowing slowly to remove the frog in his throat. “I will not let that happen to you.”

She turned her face towards him and she could see the tears in his eyes and it only fuelled hers. “You don’t-”

“I said I won’t.” Bill reached over to her hand and took it in his, entwining his fingers in with hers.

Laura put her other hand around his and gave it a gentle squeeze, her heart thudding in her chest. Why would anyone want to inflict pain upon her? Why would anyone want to do anything to him?

The phone began buzzing and Bill reached across, not letting go of her hand. “Adama,” he mumbled, glancing over at her and reassuring her with his eyes. “I’ll let the President know, thank you.” He put the phone down and closed the book, putting it back into the compartment. “You’re wanted in sickbay.”

“Are you coming too?”

“I’m going to be like your shadow, as you are going to be to mine.”

“Good then,” she said, wiping her eyes once more. “We can get you looked over.”

---

Laura sat in her room, writing in her diary again. She had spent a long time earlier in the morning, writing about her experience from the night before. She wanted to keep as much of this written down as possible. She paused her writing and flicked back to the previous two pages and began reading.

“At that moment I could see something in his eyes that had previously been undefinable when I had seen it. That spark and glint behind his eyes, which I had always took for a passion for his work, was not, it was for me. It had never been something I would have associated. Call it ignorance or just a misunderstanding when it comes to Bill, but it shocked me. That fire, which I had seen so many times, was for me, as a woman, and I could never have perceived such a thing.

When his lips touched mine and I felt the way he could be with me I could feel myself come alive. It was like a fire had started inside of me- he wanted me in a loving and protecting way, not like some men I have met in my life. Selfishness and greed overwhelmed me for a brief amount of time, making me want to be with him. But as much as I wanted to, there was something in the way and there had always been something there- the fleet and the responsibilities of being the leaders, but even more prominent than that this time was the idea that I might die. As much as I wanted to go there, I couldn’t, not when my mortality was in the way. If I die and the line between us had been crossed, the aftermath could be horrific.

Bill held me for what seemed an age, his head resting on top of mine. It wasn’t something I was accustomed to really. Obviously, Bill has been there on numerous occasions when I needed comfort, but this time, it seemed so much more. There was something more to be lost at that point- now we knew really what we were feeling. His aftershave, his steady breathing, his warmth and his grip were so overwhelmingly comfortable. It made me question why I hadn’t been selfish before…why I hadn’t stepped over the line. The grass IS greener on the other side and I really did want to be there.

Bill had understood what I was saying when I had mentioned death, and he knew what would be at risk. This man has gone from someone who I had to force myself to be around, to someone I wanted to be with. It’s strange, I know, but there are deep rooted feelings within me for him that I’m sure will never ever leave, even when I am no longer here.

Was it greedy of me to want to stay with him that night? Was it wrong of me to share the same bed as him, to feel his warmth, the softness of his skin and the comfort of being in his arms? It may have been a mistake, I’m not sure, but it felt right. Since the beginning of all of this, there have only been a few things that I have felt were the right thing to do and haven’t regretted. I think this thing between us may be on that list now. When I had stopped the tears from falling and we sat down on his sofa, I wanted to stay with him. I think he understood that and understood that I didn‘t want to be alone. Why would anyone want to spend the remaining hours on their own, when there was so much more to experience? He asked me, softly, whilst I leaned against him on the sofa, if I wanted to stay. I agreed. Part of me knows now that I wanted and still want to be able to do things while I am still capable. I don’t know if I will make it to Earth, I don’t know if I will be able to fully appreciate what we have and could have. But at that moment, when he asked me to stay, I could see what we could experience together, and I wanted it so much. It’s wrong of me to indulge, but the selfishness within me was telling me to let go, just this once, and do something that will make me happy…I don’t know when I will be able to do that again. I am happy that I did, when I think about it enough, I just hope that it will be there when the time is right.

Bill Adama, you do things to me that I just can’t explain. I hope and pray, that when the time comes, you will have me.

I crawled into his rack, the sleeping pills already in my system, and wrapped my arms around him, snuggling up against his body. It had been such a long time since I had been able to do that and I realised what I had been missing. When I felt sleep starting to overtake me, I looked up to him and smiled and he kissed me gently wishing me pleasant dreams. It was warm, comfortable and the steady beating of his heart sent me into a peaceful slumber. Oh, Bill…”


Laura looked up from her diary and sighed, it was certainly a frustrating situation, to not be able to take what’s in front of you because thousands of people are relying on you. It was even worse to think that she couldn’t take it because she was scared that once it was there, it would be ripped away from her if she didn’t make it over the next few weeks. She pulled out her pen and began writing again, having found a comfort in writing down her feelings.

“Fear is a terrible thing, it paralyses you and makes even the most simple decisions seem like a gigantic leap. I feel, at the moment, that everything is a huge step and one little slip could send me crashing down. I found some solace, days before, when I found myself sitting in the religious room of Galactica, pondering over my situation. I came to realise that there are certain things that scare me more then just dying, like my memory leaving too. Everything I have ever accomplished, loved, touched and devoted myself to would be gone…like a tear in the rain. My decisions, my hopes, my dreams and fantasies gone, evaporating into the air. The only essence of me left is what people remember me for, and when they are gone I am nothing- like I was never even alive. If I do die, what will people remember me for? Will they remember me for the way I dressed, or the decisions I have made? The intimate parts, the inner parts of me that have only been exposed to certain people, will eventually fade…everything I ever was, just gone.

Every fibre of my being is trying to be positive and believe that maybe I will make it to Earth, to see the people finally make a home after the disaster. The only thing preventing this positive attitude from being prominent is this barrier of uncertainty. I know that Bill and his men will do what they can, but what happens if there is nothing to be done? What if this was meant to happen? The dying leader was never meant to make it to Earth…and the illness which threatens me might not have been the cancer. What if this was how it was meant to be?

As scared and fearful as I am, I know that what will happen will happen and I will do whatever I can to keep this fleet going…even if I don’t make it.”


Laura looked up the clock and sighed; she had to leave soon, she wasn’t meant to be long, having told Bill that she was going to change. Obviously, he had to give her a little privacy, and himself and Starbuck were stood outside, her newly acquired shadows.

“I’m happy to say that currently Bill is ok. I was shocked to learn that he is also going to be targeted and that knowledge broke my heart more than any other news I’ve received today. Upon seeing Cottle, I urged Bill to get himself checked and it seems as if he is ok for now. I’m going to make him go often. I don’t want him to get hurt, I don’t want him to suffer.

In other news, it seems as if the sleeping pills, which had been working, are not going to last long. So, the small hours of sleep I have been getting are going to get fewer. I can’t fathom what it is going to be like. I know I’ve been struggling a lot these past few days, but it’s going to get much worse. I can’t imagine it being any worse and it scares me to know that it will.”




Starbuck stood lazily outside, leaning against the bulkhead, her foot tapping on the floor. She watched carefully as the Admiral waited anxiously outside the President’s hatch, his eyes wandering nervously down the hall, looking out for anything out of the ordinary. She had noticed, since been given the all clear, that he had been on edge. It was very strange for him to act like that and it bothered her. The Admiral was a calm and level-headed man and she rarely saw him falter. She hoped that he would let her know, but if she was going to bug him that would only make it worse.

At this present moment, Starbuck was very happy to be out of the sickbay. Although the Doc had been against it, she had been thankful when the Old Man had come to see her whilst visiting with the President. Although she wasn’t allowed back in the viper just yet, she was thankful to be given any detail, no matter how small. Although she did think that being drafted in to be the President’s own body guard was no small matter.

“You say that she’s going to get changed, sir? Is she having a meeting?” Starbuck straightened her jacket and watched as he looked down the corridor for the seventh time.

“Yes. I thought I told you?” Bill looked at her, his eyes narrowed, implying that she hadn’t been listening to him, one of his pet peeves.

“No, sir. You just told me that I’m going to be the President’s guard, nothing else.”

Bill looked back to the hatch and then back to Starbuck, confused that he hadn’t told her about the meeting. “It’s a meeting with a member of the Cylon worshippers. Apparently they have demands-”

“We don’t deal with terrorists, though, isn’t that what the President said?”

Bill nodded his head, knowing that they didn’t. It was also strange that they would have ideas or demands when they were just basically out to remove him and Laura from the picture. Why did they want a meeting with her? Why did they want any of this? He was hoping that they would get information from whomever came aboard. They had to find something. “We do not give into terrorist demands, no. We are just in need of some vital information.”

Starbuck nodded her head. “Gotcha…Sir?”

Bill turned his head back to her and he could see the confusion behind her eyes. “Yes?”

“Is everything ok?” Starbuck watched as his eyes hardened, the emotion and tension that had been so clearly visible in his eyes evaporating away. There was something wrong, she could tell. The Old man was a fighter, a strong one. He was always there when she needed support, but, when it came down to it, how many people were his rock?

The hatch slowly opened and Laura exited, wearing a new suit and a bewildered look on her face. She caught the glimpse of Kara, who was looking at Bill with a deep concern. “Lieutenant Thrace, it’s nice to see you.”

“Good Morning, Madam President.” Starbuck said cheerily, nodding her head and standing upright.

“I think it’s time we went.” Bill moved to Laura’s side. Laura hooked her arm through his and leaned against him as she walked down the corridor, totally unsure about what was going to happen. Would they get any answers? Would they find out if she was going to be ok?

Starbuck walked behind them, watching them carefully as they made their way down to the hangar bay. She watched carefully as the Admiral turned to look at Laura, who looked at him, a slight hint of a smile spreading across her face. They murmured amongst themselves and it made Starbuck recoil. Gods, she thought, the rumour mill WAS right for once.

--

The hangar was empty apart from Colonel Tigh, who was stood watching the other people enter, guns at the ready. They were all going to be positioned out of the way until the transport arrived in the pods outside, and the person, or people arrived. Upon stepping foot inside the hangar they were going to be arrested and taken to the brig for an extensive questioning, which he was personally looking forward to.

“Is it all set?” Bill said, making Tigh turn around to look at him.

“Yes, sir. I got as many men as I could. You never know what to expect in this Gods damn fleet anymore.”

Bill nodded. “Is the craft on its way?”

“Yes, sir, should be here any minute.” Tigh turned to look at the men around him and raised his hand in the air. This prompted the marines to scatter into various areas out of sight, just to be on the safe side.

A phone began buzzing behind Starbuck who turned and picked it up, pulling the receiver to her ear. “Starbuck.”

“Lieutenant Thrace, this is Gaeta, could you put the Admiral on, please.”

“Admiral, sir” Starbuck called, waving him over to her.

Bill turned and walked over to Starbuck. “Yes?”

“The ship has docked sir, they will enter the hangar in a few moments.”

“Thank you” Bill slammed the phone down and stood next to Laura. “I hope this works and we get some information.”

Laura nodded her head, looking up to him. “So do I.”

The whole hangar went quiet, Tigh stood at the front his eyes scanning the area, looking at all of the marines. Everybody else had their eyes on the same hatch, waiting for whoever it was that was going to enter. Starbuck had her hand on her firearm, standing close to the President and the Admiral. You could never be too cautious.

The hatch opened slowly and a tall muscled man walked inside, dressed in dark red robes, his face marked with a deep red bruise. His thick dark locks hung down by his face and he gazed around the room. When he looked at the back he could see a woman with blonde hair who looked familiar and made him stop in his tracks.

“Gods,” Tigh said, looking at the size of the man standing before him.

Starbuck had grabbed her gun and her eyes grew wide. “Frak,” she yelled walking forward. “You frakking-”

“Now,” Tigh yelled, raising his hand in the air.

A torrent of marines erupted from around the room, circling Geoffrey, pointing the guns at him and backing him against the nearest bulkhead. His eyes grew wide with fear and he crouched down to the floor. “Please don’t shoot,” he whimpered.

---

The room was still dark, his chair cold and the tray in front of him empty. The clock ticked slowly, the sound reverberating from a distant corner behind him. He had been sitting like that for a long time, his eyes closed and a small grin set across his face.

Memories were a wondrous thing. They had been the reason he had proceeded to do what he was doing now. Time had become so irrelevant now that he liked slipping back into the past where everything was perfect. It was peaceful now and he could have sworn he could hear the chirping of birds in the distance.

Geoffrey would be boarding the ship only to find that they were going to take him hostage. Poor man never knew what was going to hit him. Oh well, lives could be expended for such a thing.

He stretched out his legs, leaning further back into his chair, the book in his hand and his mind wandering to a distant time when he had been truly happy.

The sun was setting and she was sitting close to him, her hair hanging down across her face as she bent down to pick up a flower. The day had been long but each and every moment was spent doing something worthwhile, something that would form an imprint on his mind. As she turned towards him, the flower in her hand, he caught her eyes and they way they sparkled underneath the setting sun. The pinks and oranges reflecting off of her face reminded him of an image of an angel he had seen on a fine piece of art some years before. She was wondrous and he never wanted to let her go. The day had been perfect and he was hoping that there would be many more to come, he just had to give her the ring.

“Today has been perfect,” she whispered in his ear as she ran her hands through his dark brown locks, flattening the piece of hair which sat at a funny angle on the top of his head. “Are you working tomorrow?”

He shook his head, taking his hand into hers and pulling her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her waist. The breeze washed over them, wrapping them in a warm envelope. “I’m not in for the rest of the week.”

She playfully pinched his arm. “You never told me.”

“I was keeping it a secret,” he grinned, picking up the ambrosia from the blanket. “I wanted to surprise you!”

She smiled, her lips parted, revealing her pure white teeth. Her perfect smile. “You’re full of surprises. Close your eyes.”

“What are you going to do?” He said playfully, locking his hands with hers.

“You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I’ll always trust you.” Another gust of wind blew over his face. As he watched her grin playfully at him, he closed her eyes and let go of her hands. Unsure of what to do he sat there until he felt her hands wrap around his neck and her lips press against his cheek, moving to his lips.

The ship shook and he opened his eyes, looking out around the room and then down to the book in his hand. Soon, he thought before standing up and leaving the room, the book firmly in his grasp.
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December 2009

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